enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
