why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
