dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
