He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
