After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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