When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
