I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
