My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
