Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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