i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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