if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
