I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
we're so committed to being not committed
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
