you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My breasts were aching with rage.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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