69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
