It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We need to get me chipped asap
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
