I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
