found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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