People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
