Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
