Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
