then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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