maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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