Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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