What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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