Sry I called you an 8
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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