Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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