i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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