I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
