Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It's never too late to be topless.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
