I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We named our party play list daddy issues
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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