was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
