im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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