Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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