when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
they need to just BURY HIM!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
