Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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