yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
