Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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