if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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