i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
