my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
