His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
