we're blogging at a bar
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
