i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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