I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
