so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
