AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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