it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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