remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
