she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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