white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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